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The price of forgiving

I know it is holiday season, Christmas is coming and love is in the air.


But what about the obligatory family gatherings that we would love to skip? What about our personal space? How to handle loved ones who invade that space?

What about those who are alone or just feeling alone amongst all the holiday cheer because of the broken relationships? Do we need to forgive because of Christmas?


In the holiday spirit we tend to forgive and forget everything that happened throughout the year. While forgiveness is a powerful and healing act, but it doesn't mean sacrificing your boundaries or self-worth. In our relationships, especially with our loved ones, setting healthy boundaries is essential for maintaining mutual respect, fostering personal well-being, and preserving the dynamics that contribute to positive connections. Let's explore the delicate balance between forgiveness and setting assertive boundaries without guilt or isolation.


The value of forgiveness is, that it is liberating and can lead to emotional healing. It's a gift to yourself, releasing the burden of anger or resentment. But it doesn't always mean reconciliation. Sometimes forgiveness is about letting go for your peace without re-establishing the same relationship.


Set assertive boundaries:

While forgiveness is vital, setting boundaries ensures self-respect and safeguards against repeated hurtful behavior. Reflect on what makes you uncomfortable or crosses your personal limits in relationships. Identify where your boundaries lie.

Communicate clear expectations: open, honest communication is key. Express your boundaries respectfully, using "I" statements to convey your needs and expectations. Stand by your boundaries consistently. Be firm without being confrontational, reinforcing your limits when needed.



Navigating guilt and loneliness:

Understand that setting boundaries isn't selfish. It's an act of self-care and self-respect. Release guilt associated with prioritizing your well-being. Validate your choices and needs. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who respect your boundaries and validate your decisions.

Practice self-compassion. Understand that protecting your boundaries doesn't mean isolation; it means prioritizing your mental and emotional health.

Approach boundary-setting with compassion. Recognize that loved ones might not immediately understand or respect your boundaries; patience is key.


Navigating forgiveness while setting assertive boundaries in relationships is a delicate balance. It's essential to forgive for your peace of mind but equally crucial to establish boundaries to protect yourself from repeated hurt. Remember, self-preservation isn't selfish—it's an act of self-respect and self-love. By communicating assertive boundaries with empathy and understanding, you create a space where forgiveness and self-care coexist, fostering healthier, more fulfilling relationships, even throughout the holidays. Embrace the empowerment that comes with establishing boundaries, honoring your worth, and nurturing your well-being within your relationships.


If you liked these tips follow for more and join our family on Instagram, if you need help, feeling alone, e-mail me or book a free 1:1 coaching session with me.

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